Resolved at Last: How to Dress Your Age

 
Vanessa Friedman had such a good piece recently in the New York Times. She answered a reader’s question about what to wear as you age. Vanessa is a crackerjack reporter/writer and chief fashion correspondent for the Times, yet when needed responds personally to let you know she has thought about that too. 

We spend a lot of our fashion lives on age appropriateness. For me that started in early adolescence when I really really wanted to wear a sleeveless black sheath dress. The appropriate age, according to my mother and reluctantly at that, was fifteen. It did no good to argue that the models in "Seventeen", the teen fashion bible, were wearing black sheaths. Eventually I turned 15 and haven't been without a little black dress since, although it's now not sleeveless and not a sheath. 

I’ve a temptation to just cut and paste Vanessa’s piece. Her words certainly have more weight than mine, but as I’ve often had similar thoughts I'll use her reply to treat this as The Fashion Resolution You Really Have to Keep.

W H A T   W E    F E A R

Quoted directly from Vanessa and heard so many times before, "just because you can wear something doesn't mean you should."  Sure, the rules aren't as strict (or as clear) today about what society dictates we wear. 

Rightfully fear being called "mutton dressed as lamb". I always picture the John Tenniel illustration from "Through the Looking Glass", (scary enough), but really it means too obviously dressing yourself to appear younger. Fails every time.

Own it. If you're going to slink about in gold-coated denim jeans don't wear them. Believe in what you wear and wear them like you mean it. Be prepared for comments, though, usually sounding like compliments because most people are nothing if not polite. How you reply depends on how quick witted you are, but "thank you" and a smile will always do.

S O   W H A T 'S   T H E   A N S W E R ?

We know that what you wear tells people who you are or how you want to be perceived and that it changes. It's never a Eureka! moment; for some it's never a moment at all. But we all know the feeling when you look at something in your closet and are sure you are never ever going to wear that thing again. 

The wisest (and Vanessa is surely one) counsel not to be afraid of letting go of the past, what you might have been happy wearing when you were someone else or just not the far more experienced person you are today. 

There is also no expiration date on style. Just because Fashion shows everything on 20-some-year-olds doesn't mean they are the only ones allowed to wear them.

She has her own list of women she admires as they "look as if they know who they are and are comfortable telegraphing that to the world." Sigourney Weaver, Isabelle Huppert, Michelle Yeoh, Angela Bassett are on her list. 

Mine skews a little older as I that's where I look for inspiration these days: Vanessa Redgrave, Helen Mirren, Iris Apfel, Bette Midler, Mary Berry. And yes, it's hard to separate how these women look from all their many accomplishments. That could be why the classic society clothes horse is so very much out of fashion these days.

 
You will have your own list. Maybe make that instead of a lot of resolutions you won't keep. 

The answer to dressing your age? Vanessa ends with: "...making your own decisions about what makes you feel good...Which is, really, the ultimate grown-up way to dress."

Iris and Vanessa—two of the best

 

"Not Tonight, Josephine"

Napoleon didn't say that in the Ridley Scott film. According to this version of his life he was besotted with Josephine and would never say never. She appeared to be less fond of him. 

There is little to like in "Napoleon", and that was the problem—no one to root for. Napoleon, as portrayed by Joaquim Phoenix, was slightly less creepy than Marlon Brando playing at playing Napoleon in 1954's "Desiree". Phoenix seemed both inscrutable and deranged, more so as the film wore on. 

There are plenty of well-executed gory battle scenes, but too much of anything is, well, too much.

When things got tedious I found myself drinking in the costumes, which reflect the tumultuous fashions from 1789 to 1815. One bit of fashion history I find fascinating was underplayed. 

As the film begins, Marie Antoinette is being marched through the streets to her death, sporting a ramshackle but full head of hair, a bit of a flub on Scott's part. As per every other beheaded royal, her hair was actually shorn before execution so as not to impede the path of the guillotine. Marie's hair at one time was her crowning glory, so this would have been a memorable part of her come-down.

Ready or not...

When Napoleon first sets eyes on Josephine in 1795 she is sporting a cropped messy pixie and a narrow red velvet ribbon around her neck. This was all part of a niche movement after the Reign of Terror* known as Les Merveilleuses (The Wonderful) who did away with stiff, formal court dress in favor of loose silhouettes in cotton or flax. The short hair was called "coiffure a la victim", an homage to the condemned prisoners, as was the choker, for obvious reasons. 

Vanessa Kirby as Josephine

Mocking Les Merveilleuses 

Josephine was supposedly quite the fashionista, and what she wore had a major influence among her set and in the fashion press. Her first husband had been executed, and she herself had been imprisoned for a time. In the scene where she meets Bonaparte at an evening soiree, she appears to be the only woman thus attired and coiffed. She stands out, for sure.

If you haven't a keen grip on the timeline here follows une brève historic:

1789  Storming of the Bastille; French Revolution begins

1792  Republic established

1793  Reign of Terror begins (lasts until 1794)

1795  The Directory takes over (and Napoleon starts winning wars)

1799  Napoleon becomes Consul

1804  Napoleon declares himself Emperor

1812  Not a good year for Napoleon

1814  Napoleon abdicates and is sent to Elba

1815  Tries to seize power again, then comes Waterloo; exiled to St.Helena

1821  Napoleon dies in exile

According to Scott, Napoleon's Waterloo was his obsessive love for Josephine. And, no, "Waterloo" by ABBA was not on the soundtrack during that battle scene, but it played in my head.

* The Reign of Terror occurred after the Revolution during the government led by Robespierre. Besides nobles and clergy, any ordinary person considered suspicious was rounded up, imprisoned, possibly given a trial, often just executed.

 

Going to Hell in a Handbag

It's the end of the world as we know it. Like a very tardy Chicken Little I have only now discovered the $1790 Balenciaga trash bag. It popped up yesterday on my Facebook feed but has been collecting derision and debris since August 2022.

Perhaps that is even more astounding. This affront to good taste and raspberry to consumerism is still on the Saks Fifth Avenue website as well as others, including Balenciaga's own. In fact a used trash bag costs even more ($1980). Maybe it briefly carried a celebrity's trash. I didn't investigate.

I can be a fashion jokester. My favorite necklace is one I made from a copper elbow joint from the hardware store and a thick piece of cord. I love when it's admired and love even more when I'm asked, "Is that an elbow joint?"

But a trash bag is different. It too closely resembles the homeless I see on the street carrying their worldly belongings. The next thing I think of is a former First Lady's "I really don't care, do you?" jacket. I'll never understand why she was not more pilloried for that, worn to a disaster site no less. 

Unforgettable and unforgivable

This trash bag just isn't funny. Or wry. Or intended to make one think. It's listed as "in limited supply" and comes in black as well. 

Don't even get me started what this does for the legacy of Balenciaga. Cristobal Balenciaga was an elegant, Spanish-born couturier, hailed by Dior as "the master of us all". Even the curmudgeonly Chanel sang his praises. His exquisitely fashioned designs were most prominent in the post-WWII years until he closed the House in 1968. He was not a splashy self-promoter, but it's pretty well acknowledged his work influenced everyone in how women dressed. When Balenciaga died in 1972 the headline in Women's Wear Daily read, "The King is Dead." The brand was revived in 1986, but I think it's fair to say "in name only."

Cristobal + a 1951 Balenciaga

Why this trash bag is still kicking around for real is a mystery. I will commend Saks Fifth Avenue for not removing the 4 and 5-star reviews from their website. They are clever and pithy and will give you a chuckle as you realize it's the end of the world as we know it. I do care; don't you?

You've Got Mail!

When was the last time you found an actual letter in your mailbox? I can't even remember. There have been the occasional birthday cards from far-away friends (thank you!!!), but even those have dwindled. Forget about Christmas cards. Since the price of a "forever" stamp is now 66 cents, I doubt I can count on a festive display this year. I even get less bills. Not because I have less; many companies opted out of sending them as most are paid online.

There we are. Very little reason to open the mailbox other than to relieve it of the few magazines still limping in and the deluge of junk mail touting hearing aids, burial plots and prime wasteland in mid- Texas. 

I still get excited when I spot a catalog. Always have, even when I was a little girl and they were addressed to my mother. A favorite childhood pastime was to decide what to choose from each page. There had to be one thing, and some of those dresses from Lana Lobell were god-awful.

At times it was hard...

Although I grew up in a moderately-sized city, large enough to support several department stores and branches of a few New York specialty shops, it was still a thrill to order from a catalog. One in New Rochelle, just outside New York City, catered to my fashion-obsessed teen self. "The French Boot Shop" got the zeitgeist of the '50s-'60s. Long gone, it still has rabid fans, and the rare old catalog making it to Ebay gets snapped up fast.

Rare as hen's teeth...

Sears, Spiegel and Montgomery Ward were known as the "dream books" as they made delivery a reality throughout the country. I wonder what waiting for your order to arrive was like. Without other options it might have been bearable. We don't have patience for that today. Even a week seems like an eternity. Overnight is better.

Slo-mazon...

The catalog morphed into an important promotional tool. The goal was not to sell you this or that from page xx or xx but to pull you into the store. J Crew pretty much became the success it did on the strength of its catalog, as did Anthropologie. Both created worlds to either emulate or envy. Either way, they brought you in.

Anthro dreams by the dozen...

Sometimes it didn't work. J Peterman (yes the one from Seinfeld) publishes one of the most readable catalogs in direct mail history, but their foray into brick-and-mortar failed miserably. That white shirt was just another white shirt without the backstory that made it so irresistible on paper.

The pleasures of J Peterman...

We tend to save catalogs. I have a bunch from defunct stores that I loved looking through but never ordered from. Could be why they are defunct. Ann Taylor catalogs from the '90s were my guide to looking like a professional working woman. I can't throw them out, despite the giant shoulders and my long-standing retirement. 

Tailored for the job...

Along the way I picked up some late 1920's (pre crash) catalogs from Marshall Field. What fun they are to read, all the while thinking how little anyone knew what lay ahead.

Who could know...?

Many catalogs I receive are on account of my having shopped there and would physically do so again. J Jill, Talbot's, Johnny Was and J McLaughlin have stores in town. Land's End and LL Bean do not. They all present the merchandise pretty clearly. 

I recently read Boden is particularly successful in the US with its feminine/sporty/Princess Kate style. Boden has only one actual location (in London) so relies on its catalog for probably 99% of sales. Here is where I think that catalog misses the mark. The photographs are so lifestyle centric you can barely see the clothes. I would need to go online to do so. At the same time one must order online, where there are presumably many other items to choose from. Like my hybrid car, we have entered the age of multiple technologies. Get used to it.

What am I buying?

I will look through any catalog you send me. The holidays are not the same without The Swiss Colony and The Vermont Country Store. I will admire the bounty of your pecans at Sunnyland Farms, marvel at your variety of fruit cakes on Collin Street and always wonder who exactly are Harry & David. But the fashion catalogs will always be the true stuff of dreams.

Why I've Become a (Fashion) Vegan

Vegans are here to stay...

Becoming a Fashion Vegan has nothing to do with my love for animals or my choice of diet (kinda sorta vegetarian but for the occasional hamburger). I became a convert because Fashion is now doing such wonderful things with vegan leather.

I put down plastic leather in its early days, despite having a pair of black "pleather" pants. I felt rather risqué wearing them, as if they were some kind of bondage gear. They were also sweaty. No tears were shed when the material began to peel and they hit the trash.

I never minded impersonations, up to a point. I've long known that "patent leather" is no more leather than the apricot candy and "tortoise shell" accessories are honest-to-goodness plastic. But there was something about imitation leather shoes or handbags that seemed a poor substitute. But things that fool on purpose have always been fine (ie fake leopard anything).

When motorcycle jackets and black leather pants made it into my fashion stratosphere, I bought the real deal, a Schott leather jacket that weighed a ton and black leather pants I could hardly walk in. Evidently I was not meant to join that fashion gang. 

When introduced in the early '70s who didn't love Ultrasuede? A Japanese invention, Ultrasuede was used by Halston in 1972 for his first couture show and both were immediate hits. More supple than suede, washable and able to be produced in any color, alas Ultrasuede was expensive.

Halston and his first Ultrasuede creation

Fast forward a few decades and today you can find Ultrasued-ish garments in every price point. We just take it for granted now. This embrace of Vegan leather still feels newish. I only had to search "Vegan leather" on the Banana Republic Factory Store site to find myriad examples beyond pants of stylish Vegan leather and (because "Ultrasuede" is copywrighted) faux suede.

Classic trench $150

Bermuda short $56

Oversized shirt $63

Sleeveless coat $108

Knee-length dress $48

Casale top $33.97

Read the care labels of almost anything today, and the fabric is a chemist's cupboard of ingredients whipped into amazing replications of cashmere, silk or wool. Even the dreaded rayon seems to have been replaced by another, improved, rayon. And much of all this is sprinkled with a dusting of Spandex for good measure.

While the plethora of pleather (couldn't help myself) hasn't entirely lifted the fashion malaise I'm feeling, I'm curious and willing to try. I better order that Casale top on final clearance before they're all gone. 

Quiet Luxury Bores Me to Tears

"Quiet Luxury" is Fashion's latest buzz-word. This laid-back ode to neutrals, simple shapes and luxury fabrics harks to a time when simplicity ruled. These were the days of Donna Karan, Calvin Klein, Giorgio Armani and Helmut Lang in their prime and at their best. 

No surprise. Pared down looks often follow a period of over-the-top styles, be it the broad shoulders, sharp edges and brilliant jewel tones of the '80s or the silly-frilly "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" frocks of recent summers.  

Luxury should be rare and/or look expensive—precious metals and jewels, exotic furs (once upon a time), hard-to-get (or hard to work with) fabrics, hand-sewn details. You should be able to see and feel what you've paid for.

Quiet Luxury is all that, but it whispers. Colors are soft and often neutral—camel, gray, beige, ecru. If there's color it's muted. Fabrics are soft too—jersey, cashmere, fine wool, silk—and the shapes less structured. One brand, Bruno Cuchinelli, has been doing this for a while. It's quiet luxury and not in any sense sense affordable. This cashmere sweater is $3,000.  

One harbinger of the Quiet Luxury trend was the tv series "Succession" in Sarah Snook's character of Shiv Roy, who succeeds (or did she?). It may be an offshoot of last year's Coastal Grandma, retooled for any age or coast.

Sarah as Shiv in "Succession"

The problem with Quiet Luxury is it can be replicated down market. Today's fabric blends easily imitate cashmere and silk. Practically no one works with 100% wool anymore, even the so-called luxury brands.  

And therein lies the problem. Quiet Luxury is everywhere—on the high street in Britain or the mall here in the U.S. It's no longer the mark of a trust fund, executive position or sugar daddy. Anyone can afford it. What's more all that gray, ecru, taupe and camel is boring, boring, boring.

I predict Quiet Luxury won't be around for long. But if you insist (and I understand that for some it's a welcome return to sanity) I can suggest the way

TO SHOP FOR IT: 

> Everything should function. Avoid anything with purely decorative effects—fake pockets, extra trims, zippers for the heck of it. 

> Think of color in candlelight. Neutrals show off this look best but you can add color. Like the cinnamon sweater above, colors are softer, toned down, as if you were in a room lit with candles.

> Avoid prints. Woven tweeds or plaids or stripes as part of a weave are fine. Avoid anything but the most subtle of prints (a woven paisley perhaps).

> Feel the fabric. Even though today's blends can be amazing, it doesn't mean they all are. Is it soft to the touch? Does it hang well? How do you take care of it? Are you willing to baby it with hand washing or dry cleaning? If you don't follow care instructions you may live to regret.

TO WEAR IT:

> Less is more. Chanel was famous for saying to take off the last thing you put on, but then she liked to wear a lot of accessories. Quiet luxury should be telling you fuggedaboutit. Don't even think about layering necklaces and bracelets. Take off your earrings if you dare. One golden or silvery bangle. It doesn't even have to be real.

> Tone down your makeup. It should whisper as well. If you like a red lip, keep it, but go easy on eye makeup. Throw away your hairspray.

> Oh and carry a big stick. You know what they say about speaking softly. 

What's "On 34th?"

Macy's flagship store in Manhattan is on 34th Street between 6th and 7th avenues. There are 503 others across the country since Macy's has been gobbling up ailing department stores and rebranding them as their own. Suffice to say there's probably "a Macy's near you". 

There's one near me too, in the Houston Galleria. I always park near the Macy's entrance and loop through the main floor just to see what's on offer. It's usually middle-of-the-road and not very exciting. There's Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Vince Camuto, Anne Klein, DKNY, Calvin Klein, Michael Kors, etc. These are not high-end offerings from the familiar names, just what the average woman might like.

Macy's has had and continues to have "private brands". Once the I.N.C. line was trendy and fun, now it's tatty and cheesy. Others are Alfani, Bar III and Charter Club. Not impressed. But rounding the corner I saw a new "shop", On 34th. Right away I was transported to Herald Square (the slice of concrete on 34th Street facing Macy's). So, how was Macy's channeling their famous location for the rest of America? Reminding customers that Macy's is a shopping behemoth and has been around for ages at its iconic address is a very smart move indeed.

Basic basics, yes

The offering are Basics, capital B intentional, but I was happy to find they were basics I understand, like a $49.50 leopard midi skirt (my kind of basic). There was nothing tricked out about the displays, just racks with some vague kind of story to tell. A 100% cotton striped boat-neck tee with wide 3/4 sleeves was $39.50 and available in many color combos. The most fashion forward item (and highest price I noticed) was a heavyweight polka dot trench coat. 

$39.50 tee with style

$150 rain worthy trench

In this day and age of escalating clothing prices it's pretty refreshing to see this much quality at, shall I say, reasonable pricing. The fabric and composition is good. Things look well made with no (thank goodness) extraneous trims and gew-gaws. Plenty of offerings in plus-size too. I didn't see any petites.

$59.50 rugby mini—impressive

This has just hit the stores and maybe a little early in Houston as I did read about an August 17 launch date.

The only thing lacking might be a real focus. Who is this line for??? I think I figured that out too: everyone.

2023: The Summer of Jackie

You could do worse than make Jackie Kennedy Onassis your Summer of 2023 Fashion Muse. She was always appropriately dressed with understated flair, but it's amazing how many of her looks are so right this year.

From my vantage point a lot of the fashions we see in magazines and on the red carpet are unwearable fantasies—fun to look at perhaps but totally impractical. Some trends do seem to be emerging as a mix of what the stores are offering and what is already in our closets. 

If many of us are buying less these days it's a combination of decent clothes becoming so expensive, understanding fast fashion is bad for the environment and those who make it and less formality in dress overall.  

Jackie's style was always a subtle nod to east coast Preppy, understated Boho or refined Ladylike. No logos on the Preppy, no far-out shapes on the Boho, no extraneous gewgaws on the Ladylike. For sure you can't go wrong with:

Preppy: The black t-shirt and white jeans with supporting players— sandals, tote bag, big sunglasses and head scarf. Leave off the scarf if you like. Make the pants skinny, wide legs, boot cut or flared. Choose the style that fits you best. 

Boho: Black top tucked into a midi skirt with a ruffle, worn with a wide belt, sandals, tote and sunglasses. Here's where the skirt has to flatter you too—maybe not so full or no ruffle. Try a wrap or an A-line. This one has buttons for more swoosh. Although I have a full collection of belts I've avoided wearing them since I lost my 24" waist. I should snap out of it.

Boho with Preppy: The button down shirt with a colorful summer skirt is a classic. Yes, it's a hat or a hairdo, but the straw hat acts as the third piece to make this an outfit. Subtle, but notice how the shirt blends but doesn't match any of the colors in the skirt.

Preppy and Boho: The colors make the difference. You couldn't get any preppier than red and blue unless it was red, white and blue. The oddball mustard-colored pants make the same shapes Boho.

Preppy with Ladylike: Jackie showcased oversized gingham in the early '60s. She took an American staple thought of as folksy and made it cool. There really hasn't been a summer when gingham something wasn't a perfect choice. Okay, you think you want sleeves. Will you accept a cap sleeve or drop shoulder? They are not impossible to find.

Ladylike: Obviously the white gloves are off the table, as is the matching bag and shoes. White shoes themselves have become "bone" or "neutral", but you can't go wrong with a simple silhouette. 

When she visited India as First Lady in 1962 Jackie went to great lengths planning her clothes to reflect and honor her destination. She didn't go for a wardrobe of saris, which might have been interpreted as cultural misappropriation (if we had thought in those terms). Instead she adapted the current silhouettes (which she also inspired) with fabrics and colors that would play well throughout her trip. Shouldn't you always think about where you're going when you plan a vacation?