Stocking Up for the Inevitable

Eight tracks are never coming back. We've gotten used to the idea that our favorite lipsticks and nail polishes will also disappear. It doesn't pay to hoard lipstick— I've tried and ended up with 4 sticky, flaky tubes of mess. A bottle of nail polish lasts so long I'm hoping to get tired of "Bling Dynasty" by the time I reach The End.

But I just received (and paid dearly for) two jars of Neutrogena Visibly Firm Night Cream from someone in Tennessee selling it through Amazon. Trust me, it wasn't easy to find. The seller posted "only 8 jars remaining". I did toy with the idea of cutting down on food and buying all eight jars. Then I realized sooner or later I will have to surrender and hope my face does not suddenly drop to the floor.

There is a story in our family about my Aunt Jean. With the approach of rationing during WWII she did exactly what the government cautioned against— bought a massive supply of canned goods and stored them in her basement. Supposedly all the can labels were washed off in a flood (which must have been of biblical proportions), and her immediate family spent the war years playing "What's in the Can?" at mealtimes. Aunt Jean was not the favorite sister. I've long suspected this story to be apocryphal, but the thought occurred to me as I stashed away the jars of Neutogena that I better secure them on a high shelf.

There are certainly some items no longer available I wish I'd bought more of:

> DKNY lingerie bodysuits— grown up onesizes that take the place of multiple undergarments. Mine are certainly growing thin with wear and washing.

> Coty Airspun Powder in the original 1930s packaging that was available until recently. Someone decided the box should now be plastic and ugly.

> Those gel bubble bath capsules that were a staple of drugstores and dime stores and now must be landfill.

> Danskin cap-sleeved leotards in an array of colors withOUT a snap crotch. These have been my bathing suits for eons. Thank goodness they wear like iron.

> A real terry cloth bathrobe— not this velour or French terry stuff.

> Milkmaid cosmetics— for little girls but I can still smell the toilet water.

I know, the list is long of wonderful staples that are still with us— from Minnetonka moccasins to Vicks Vaporub. There are certainly enough things I never want to see again— from garter belts to girdles and including eight tracks. But who decides what gets manufactured and what sees the chopping block? Could there not be a National Face Cream Board or at least a warning notice on the label? Could there really be something better than Active Copper Ingredients? Wait a minute... you heard what?... You don't say?... Sign me up for a trial sample!