"Wait, Wait... There's More!"

No one has mentioned this... no one dares bring it up... but why are former fashion luminaries in the televised home shopping business and peddling dreck? So far none of them have urged me to keep watching by shouting out Ron Popeel's famous catch-phrase, "Wait, wait... there's more!", but I'm waiting.

I cringe whenever I watch Isaac Mizrahi on QVC (and he's on several times a week). I cringe because he presents the most common denominator basically boring stuff with an even more manic dose of Isaacness than is his usual. And I love Isaac Mizrahi. His couture years were great. His career-reviving ISAAC line was lovely (and affordable pour moi). His Target collaboration was fun. But the QVC line is just embarrassing. He might say, "You have to pay the rent, honey." And I would say, "Isaac, please find another way."

There's Lori Goldstein, a formerly hip and high-fashion editorial stylist in New York who worked for Vogue and Vanity Fair with famed photographer Steven Meisel. She's now selling t-shirts and stretch pants in simpering pastels cut to hide the jiggly bits on QVC. Lori's fun to watch as she bounces all over the place adjusting the models, and her New York accent reminds me of home. But the stuff looks flammable, not desirable.

Stephani on the right in the very wrong

The latest to emerge from a fashion pedigree onto the tv screen is Stephani Greenfield. A founder of one of the trendiest NYC boutiques, Scoop, she was the ying to Diane von Furstenburg's yang on the ill-conceived tv reality show "House of DVF". This show, Curations with Stephani Greenfield, purports to promote fashion inspired by her travels to exotic places. I tuned in to see the formerly high priestess of chic decked out like a bag lady you would cross the street to avoid. Would I buy what she was selling? Are you serious?

Is there even a place for fashion on tv? We all laughed at the idea of online shopping for anything you need to try on. Now we're all doing it. At the Lovely Boutique Where I Work half my day is spent processing returns from the online store. As much as we know it probably won't fit, hope springs eternal, and pushing the "buy now" button is easy.

The only person who seems to have gotten it a little bit right is the now 94-year-old Iris Apfel. In 2011 she debuted a line of jewelry— copies or in the spirit of the costume jewelry she loves. Much of the stuff is really fun. Some of it is overpriced ($499 for a beaded glass necklace). She needn't apologize for the jewelry, and I don't think less of her for selling it. But then Iris Apfel can do no wrong...