COS, You Make it Hard to Love You

 
COS stands for "Collection of Style" and was launched in 2007 by the H&M fashion group as their more sophisticated, more expensive older sister. It's the kind of clothing that looks like nothing on a hanger but can look like everything or still nothing when it's on you.

Where to start?

The clothing tends to be oversized or undersized, as am I in various places. This requires a lot of trying on, and I was tickled radish-root pink when a COS opened up in a collection of shops near me. I will take piles of lovely fabrics in understated shades and undetermined shapes into the fitting room and come out with a piece or two that I will really wear.

Not everything works

Whenever I do wear something from COS, however, I feel sophisticated, smart and more like the woman I hope to appear than I usually feel wearing anything else.

A few days ago I introduced a friend to the brand. We both found dresses we liked, neither one of which was available in our sizes at the store. The sales associate was very nice in writing down the style number and letting us know we could order them online.

Could they order for us? I know that usually saves on the shipping fee and gives credit for the sale to the store's bottom line. No, they don't do that.

I was able to order my dress online, but my friend was not. Sold out in her size. As a favor (since I feel responsible) I called a COS store in another town, one of only 20 in the US. They had it! But would not ship it. Could we pay for it and come pick it up? They won't take credit cards over the phone and would only hold it for 24 hours. COS has the dress, but won't sell it because...???

News flash! This is 2019. Stores are shuttering right and left. Barney's is in bankruptcy! Forever 21 just filed! Brick-and-mortar stores are finding their bricks crumbling as online shopping takes over.

Window dressing you never want to see

I work in retail and have dealt over time with enough about-faces in company policy to make your head spin. Strategically a company hopes to keep pace with changes in the marketplace. This is necessary, however much a nuisance "new rules" may seem. We know it's for our own good, as in protecting the existence of said company and our jobs along with it.

What is to be made of COS's very, well, 1999 approach to business? 

Never one to shy away from letting my opinion be known, I did indeed speak with someone from customer service. She very politely told me they were "always looking for ways to improve". It really was all I could do to keep from saying, "you are already five years behind the times." Then I realized I was talking to the wrong person.

So, president of COS North America, if you are reading this, don't bother reading between the lines. Read the lines. Make it easy to buy something. If the dress exists, sell it. Ship it. Take my credit card number over the phone. I've been hacked too many times already to do more than whimper, "What, again?"