Broken Promises/Happy Endings

  
Sometimes it pays to disappoint yourself, especially this year.

Every January I make the same promise I make in July: Don't buy anything for next season until that next season arrives. This is a promise I can never keep.

The stores start hauling out spring and summer clothes while the winter sale signs are still wet. I love me a good sale, but I CAN NOT resist the shiny and new.

It's easy to forget what you actually own when it's packed away for a winter nap, so I'm often replenishing what doesn't need to be replenished. I will also imagine events that never occur—patio parties where I swan about in a silk caftan passing out hors d'oeuvres and cocktails to my neighbors. I don't even know the neighbors. I envision romantic evenings in a flowy summer dress on a cruise ship in tropic waters, strolling the decks with my husband apres dinner. What's wrong with this picture? I hate cruises and get seasick besides. Nevertheless the fantasies persist, and I can end up in October with outfits still hanging in the closet, tags attached.

I've gotten better over time but am not 100% pre-season impulse-free. This year, when stepping inside the mall or a department store seems a far-fetched idea, I'm happy I broke my promise. What that means is I start the season with new clothes I WILL wear, mainly because they are new. I bought some striped Breton sailor tees, black pants with white daisies, wide-leg linen pants in a terra cotta color, a black knit blazer cut like a riding jacket, that flowy summer dress for my husband's birthday dinner (which will still happen just not aboard ship), a black straw bag of shredded raffia, a pair of tooled leather mules and a pair of black slip-on sneakers with white treads.

You might think this is enough to satisfy a woman's summer wardrobe in its entirety. But you don't know me. Before this all happened, I shopped, like a shark swims, constantly. I enjoyed the hunt while always looking for "a good price".

I've learned a lot, even in six weeks. I've learned how little I need and how much I have. I've learned to do other things with my time, like cooking real recipes instead of throwing dinner together. My garden has never looked better. I'm reading more. I can't find an excuse to avoid cleaning house, but I'm working on that.

As retail slowly opens up here, I wonder how things will change. I'm old enough to need to proceed cautiously, but I do feel I won't go back to my meandering ways. The new normal doesn't seem able to support that idea anyways.

I will tell you one thing: I'm happy to have something new to wear when I can be let out!