|Genius jean jacket|
... but not for me
There are five things always hanging out in my closet that I'll never wear... yet they'll always be there. Why? Because if they're not, I will buy them again. And history will repeat itself.
THE FOOLISH FIVE:
1) Black pencil skirt
Every woman needs one, right? No— not if a pencil skirt is the worst choice for a lower half that looks more like a kneaded eraser. No— not if you don't have a life in an office where said skirt, blouse and jacket would be de rigueur.
2) Jean jacket
Ah the jean jacket— staple of any modern woman's wardrobe, right? Every time I put mine on I feel like Randy in "A Christmas Story", encased in outerwear and unable to move. Perhaps it's not broken in and/or soft enough, but I've had many jean jackets over the years and they all act the same. So this latest one is going to hang there as A Reminder.
3) Black pumps
Medium heel, perfectly plain, never worn. Never mind that I can't take two steps without saying "no way". There isn't a reason to own plain, uncomfortable shoes, yet they will remain. So I don't buy them again. My shoes are fun and comfortable. Okay, they start out fun and maybe turn out uncomfortable. These black pumps are boring, but I think I should own a pair.
|Charming chambray... |
but not for me
4) Chambray shirt
I've bought at least four of them in the last year thinking I will find Mr. Right. I don't like blue, so why would I think I want a chambray shirt? Because I have the perfect J Crew-ish chunky jeweled necklaces to wear with one? Because they're "in"? Because because... Well, I'm keeping one hanging in the closet because...
5) Trench coat
Once upon a time I had a trench coat... It was back in my art school days. I wore it everywhere for years. Never cleaned it. The older it got the better it looked. Ah, if that trench coat could only talk. One day I must have looked at it with the cold eye of dawn and out it went. Ever since I have been trying to replicate said trench coat and no doubt every adventure it shared. Alas. Too new. Too stiff. See "jean jacket". I once even contemplated buying the gen-u-ine article by Burberry. Thank goodness that never happened or it would be hanging in my closet now like the one from Banana Republic that I did buy.
|How come she always looked|
so good in one?
There is another list to compile: I Don't See You Hanging There. On this list would be all the things I foolishly turned out of my closet thinking I would never wear them again. That list would be very long indeed.