Thursday, May 8, 2014

I See You Hanging There

Genius jean jacket
... but not for me

There are five things always hanging out in my closet that I'll never wear... yet they'll always be there. Why? Because if they're not, I will buy them again. And history will repeat itself.


1) Black pencil skirt
Every woman needs one, right? No— not if a pencil skirt is the worst choice for a lower half that looks more like a kneaded eraser. No— not if you don't have a life in an office where said skirt, blouse and jacket would be de rigueur.

2) Jean jacket
Ah the jean jacket— staple of any modern woman's wardrobe, right? Every time I put mine on I feel like Randy in "A Christmas Story", encased in outerwear and unable to move. Perhaps it's not broken in and/or soft enough, but I've had many jean jackets over the years and they all act the same. So this latest one is going to hang there as A Reminder.

3) Black pumps
Medium heel, perfectly plain, never worn. Never mind that I can't take two steps without saying "no way". There isn't a reason to own plain, uncomfortable shoes, yet they will remain. So I don't buy them again. My shoes are fun and comfortable. Okay, they start out fun and maybe turn out uncomfortable. These black pumps are boring, but I think I should own a pair.

Charming chambray...
but not for me

4) Chambray shirt
I've bought at least four of them in the last year thinking I will find Mr. Right. I don't like blue, so why would I think I want a chambray shirt? Because I have the perfect J Crew-ish chunky jeweled necklaces to wear with one? Because they're "in"? Because because... Well, I'm keeping one hanging in the closet because...

5) Trench coat
Once upon a time I had a trench coat... It was back in my art school days. I wore it everywhere for years. Never cleaned it. The older it got the better it looked. Ah, if that trench coat could only talk. One day I must have looked at it with the cold eye of dawn and out it went. Ever since I have been trying to replicate said trench coat and no doubt every adventure it shared. Alas. Too new. Too stiff. See "jean jacket". I once even contemplated buying the gen-u-ine article by Burberry. Thank goodness that never happened or it would be hanging in my closet now like the one from Banana Republic that I did buy.

How come she always looked
so good in one?

There is another list to compile: I Don't See You Hanging There. On this list would be all the things I foolishly turned out of my closet thinking I would never wear them again. That list would be very long indeed.


  1. Great post, Michelle! I'd have to swap the pencil skirt for black pants & include a pair of jeans, though.

  2. Oh, I love this post! Here I am, thinking for years that I need that pencil skirt , the jean jacket , the trench coat AND the pumps! I bought a trench coat some years ago and it was not what I wanted. Then , three years later I bought a black one, thinking it was The One... It wasn't. As for the pencil skirt, I've never wore one, but I foolishly believed that if only I had one, I would be more elegant, my wardrobe would improve, etc...Same for the pumps. And I am an artist and work in my studio... Why do we believe such things?...I laughed out loud reading your list. And you are the one who knows! So, thank you for raising my self confidence and the freedom to never ever ever buy a pencil skirt, or black pumps or another trench coat!