Hair Apparent

Considering the state of the world these days my hair should be of little interest to anyone, but there is a point to this posting. 

Since deciding to go natural after 40 years of I-Love-Lucy-Red, I've taken navel gazing to a new form—scalp gazing. Every day I investigate the depth and coloration of what appears to be many shades of gray. My hair has always been short, but I decided to go full Jean Seberg in "Saint Joan" with a very close crop to hurry things along. 

 

 

Otto Preminger's discovery of Jean Seberg in 1957 was heralded as a twist to the old Schwab's drugstore discovery. He had put out a nationwide search for his Joan, testing thousands of young hopefuls. Preminger anointed 17-year-old Jean Seberg of Marshalltown, Iowa, as his star. Far from being the complete novice described in the publicity, Jean had already moved to New York City and was appearing in east coast summer stock when she auditioned.

The first thing Preminger did was cut her hair. Life magazine covered Jean's return to Marshalltown, Preminger in tow. I remember thinking both that she was so pretty it was a shame about the hair and I wanted that haircut myself.

With Preminger and Svengali-like neck-hold

 
Jean Seberg's life is a fascinating one. "Saint Joan" was not a hit, nor was a romantic potboiler, "Bonjour Tristesse", that was at least fun to watch. She moved to France and made "Breathless", a classic of the French New Wave. It still holds up as a stylish thriller, and she is luminous. Long an activist for racial equality, her association with the Black Panthers produced a rash of ugly rumors, put her on an FBI watch list and surely contributed to her fragile mental state. Three unsuccessful marriages and a spotty acting career didn't help. Seberg was found dead in her car in Paris in 1979, ruled a suicide from an overdose of barbiturates.

Whenever Jean went through a stressful period in her life she cut her hair back close to Saint Joan short. She always said it made her feel most like herself. And I wonder, which self would that be? Was it the Jean Seberg just starting out, with so much promise and hope? Was it the Jean who knew pretty actresses were a dime a dozen, but few could pull off that look? Was she rebelling against standard norms of beauty? Did she just love having one less thing to fuss about?

Is there some part of your appearance that makes you feel like you? A color lipstick you feel is the most flattering? A fragrance? It may be forgotten for a while, but when you put it on, that's You. Is it something you wear? A sweater that has kept you cozy for years. When you reach for it do you feel not only warmer but calmer?

I doubt I will keep my hair this short when all is said and done. We are always on a journey, aren't we? For me the crop is a vessel, for Jean it was a safe harbor.