Foiled Again: Quest for the Perfect Dress

And only $39.90!

This time I thought for sure I'd found it—the perfect dress. The dress that would cover many occasions (and cover up a few other things). I loved this olive green number so much in the dressing room, I bought it and immediately ordered its two other colors, black and grey. I would now be set for anything—day, night, dressy, casual, spring, summer, fall, winter, north, south, east, west...you get the idea.

Olive, black, grey

The dressing room mirror usually leaves a lot to be desired, Zara's especially. The lighting is bad; the space cramped; the ambience nil. I always figure if it looks good in the dressing room, it will look great in real life. I was convinced I had found it, the perfect dress. The illusion held when I tried it on again at home. In fact, so excited was I to wear my new dress, I wore it the very next day.

I will admit it's rare, when I make an effort, that I won't snag a compliment or two in the course of the day. I don't do anything spectacular, but I try to get dressed. Today was only errands around town, but nowadays few make that effort. We are so used to leisurewear-as-streetwear and other sins against fashion, a woman actually in a dress with accessories and makeup can elicit a nice comment or two. 

Nobody said "boo". As the afternoon wore on, and I felt more and more uncomfortable in that dress, I could see why. It just didn't sit well. The neckline, higher in back than front, stuck out funny. Without any seaming or darts, the back sort of hung off my shoulders, fighting with the cowl neckline that wanted to hitch backwards. Plus with no slits at the sides I found myself taking mincing steps. Worst of all, late in the day I noticed white deodorant streaks along the sides where I'd struggled to pull it on that morning.

If ever I wished for a rainstorm and the emergency vinyl slicker I keep in my trunk!

I've long touted the "road test" as a sure test of an outfit. It's the reason I caution anyone against taking something brand-spanking-new on a trip (from shoes to underwear). So sure was I about this being the Perfect Dress I didn't even consider a road test. 

Denial is a river in Egypt and a woman loathe to admit she made a mistake. Not wishing to see it staring at me in the closet, I immediately took it to the donate box in the garage. There have been no second guesses and no regrets other than I threw away $39.90. The other two dresses arrived. I didn't even open the package. 

What have I learned? Probably not much. Hope springs eternal. We strive for perfection, though we sense we may never reach it. Such is the journey. That one perfect dress worked for Little Orphan Annie. Why not me?