Resolved at Last: How to Dress Your Age

 
Vanessa Friedman had such a good piece recently in the New York Times. She answered a reader’s question about what to wear as you age. Vanessa is a crackerjack reporter/writer and chief fashion correspondent for the Times, yet when needed responds personally to let you know she has thought about that too. 

We spend a lot of our fashion lives on age appropriateness. For me that started in early adolescence when I really really wanted to wear a sleeveless black sheath dress. The appropriate age, according to my mother and reluctantly at that, was fifteen. It did no good to argue that the models in "Seventeen", the teen fashion bible, were wearing black sheaths. Eventually I turned 15 and haven't been without a little black dress since, although it's now not sleeveless and not a sheath. 

I’ve a temptation to just cut and paste Vanessa’s piece. Her words certainly have more weight than mine, but as I’ve often had similar thoughts I'll use her reply to treat this as The Fashion Resolution You Really Have to Keep.

W H A T   W E    F E A R

Quoted directly from Vanessa and heard so many times before, "just because you can wear something doesn't mean you should."  Sure, the rules aren't as strict (or as clear) today about what society dictates we wear. 

Rightfully fear being called "mutton dressed as lamb". I always picture the John Tenniel illustration from "Through the Looking Glass", (scary enough), but really it means too obviously dressing yourself to appear younger. Fails every time.

Own it. If you're going to slink about in gold-coated denim jeans don't wear them. Believe in what you wear and wear them like you mean it. Be prepared for comments, though, usually sounding like compliments because most people are nothing if not polite. How you reply depends on how quick witted you are, but "thank you" and a smile will always do.

S O   W H A T 'S   T H E   A N S W E R ?

We know that what you wear tells people who you are or how you want to be perceived and that it changes. It's never a Eureka! moment; for some it's never a moment at all. But we all know the feeling when you look at something in your closet and are sure you are never ever going to wear that thing again. 

The wisest (and Vanessa is surely one) counsel not to be afraid of letting go of the past, what you might have been happy wearing when you were someone else or just not the far more experienced person you are today. 

There is also no expiration date on style. Just because Fashion shows everything on 20-some-year-olds doesn't mean they are the only ones allowed to wear them.

She has her own list of women she admires as they "look as if they know who they are and are comfortable telegraphing that to the world." Sigourney Weaver, Isabelle Huppert, Michelle Yeoh, Angela Bassett are on her list. 

Mine skews a little older as I that's where I look for inspiration these days: Vanessa Redgrave, Helen Mirren, Iris Apfel, Bette Midler, Mary Berry. And yes, it's hard to separate how these women look from all their many accomplishments. That could be why the classic society clothes horse is so very much out of fashion these days.

 
You will have your own list. Maybe make that instead of a lot of resolutions you won't keep. 

The answer to dressing your age? Vanessa ends with: "...making your own decisions about what makes you feel good...Which is, really, the ultimate grown-up way to dress."

Iris and Vanessa—two of the best