Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Deciphering the Season Thanks to Elle

I've long realized the fashion magazines give us more "meat" in the appetizer than in the main course. While once I slogged through all those front-of-the-book pages in great anticipation for the editorial "well", I am now convinced news you can really use is on the left-hand pages facing the ads.

Magazines, especially big issues such as September, have many left-hand pages to fill. Someone has determined the reader will see a right-hand page first. Advertisers are wont to put their money where the eyes are.

In olden days of yore, when I toiled in the industry, editorial on the left-hand pages were called "turns", presumably because you just kept turning until you hit the good stuff. Like oddly delicious British sausages, they were mostly filler. Today that seems to be where to find the skinny on what to wear, what to buy and what's happening. Take September Elle for example.

Fashion Director Joe Zee, who seems like an awfully nice man on the tv show "All on the Line", has three fun pages labeled Elements of Style A to Z. "A" is Arm Candy (handbags) and "Z" is Zzzzzzs (a good night's sleep).

Things really heat up when you reach page 329 and Elle targets all the trends in the Elle Shops Fall Shopping Guide. It took a long time for me to get through the forest of trees that became September magazines, so that issue is now off the newsstand. Let me parse it for you:

Minimal— We're talking maximum minimal with the biggest silhouettes since the '80s. Boxy jackets and straight leg pants in clear colors. Color blocking gone minmal as in each piece is a block.

Wide-leg trousers— Elle showed white.

Graphic sweaters—Op and Pop but in a subtle way 

Body-conscious dress— Note to self: Buy stock in Spanx.

Leather— Any color as long as its black. Quilted, embossed, pleated, pleather, vinyl or the Real Thing. Wear with more black.

Puffer vest— This is nice in black as well.

Cropped trousers— Still? Okay...

Layered textures— Color, pattern, textures, oh my

Patent slicker— At least it's not black

Printed pants— Speaking softly not shouting

Patterned overcoat— Why should your winter armor be boring?

Blouses— They can make a look or change a mood. When was the last time you bought one?

Gold rush— Marie Antoinette, make way for the czarina. This look references Faberge, the Hermitage and Rasputin.

Gold jeans— See my blog of October 15, 2011. Am I psychic or what?

Metallic dresses— Don't pack this in your carry-on

Rock candy— It doesn't have to be real to rock

Camisoles— Going solo

Peacoat— Really? I mean, this is just classic

Pencil skirt— Make that your fanciest pencil ever


Lace— Last but not least or less 

Plus there are 20 bags and 20 pairs of shoes to ogle. Sixteen pages later is it any wonder your head may be swimming? Are you thinking you might just sit this one out? Be aware that this is not the Great Mix & Match Game. You are going to have to decide, at least on a day-by-day basis, if you are neo-classic or neo-gothic. My advice is to breathe deeply then get creative in your closet. 

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