"Not Tonight, Josephine"

Napoleon didn't say that in the Ridley Scott film. According to this version of his life he was besotted with Josephine and would never say never. She appeared to be less fond of him. 

There is little to like in "Napoleon", and that was the problem—no one to root for. Napoleon, as portrayed by Joaquim Phoenix, was slightly less creepy than Marlon Brando playing at playing Napoleon in 1954's "Desiree". Phoenix seemed both inscrutable and deranged, more so as the film wore on. 

There are plenty of well-executed gory battle scenes, but too much of anything is, well, too much.

When things got tedious I found myself drinking in the costumes, which reflect the tumultuous fashions from 1789 to 1815. One bit of fashion history I find fascinating was underplayed. 

As the film begins, Marie Antoinette is being marched through the streets to her death, sporting a ramshackle but full head of hair, a bit of a flub on Scott's part. As per every other beheaded royal, her hair was actually shorn before execution so as not to impede the path of the guillotine. Marie's hair at one time was her crowning glory, so this would have been a memorable part of her come-down.

Ready or not...

When Napoleon first sets eyes on Josephine in 1795 she is sporting a cropped messy pixie and a narrow red velvet ribbon around her neck. This was all part of a niche movement after the Reign of Terror* known as Les Merveilleuses (The Wonderful) who did away with stiff, formal court dress in favor of loose silhouettes in cotton or flax. The short hair was called "coiffure a la victim", an homage to the condemned prisoners, as was the choker, for obvious reasons. 

Vanessa Kirby as Josephine

Mocking Les Merveilleuses 

Josephine was supposedly quite the fashionista, and what she wore had a major influence among her set and in the fashion press. Her first husband had been executed, and she herself had been imprisoned for a time. In the scene where she meets Bonaparte at an evening soiree, she appears to be the only woman thus attired and coiffed. She stands out, for sure.

If you haven't a keen grip on the timeline here follows une brève historic:

1789  Storming of the Bastille; French Revolution begins

1792  Republic established

1793  Reign of Terror begins (lasts until 1794)

1795  The Directory takes over (and Napoleon starts winning wars)

1799  Napoleon becomes Consul

1804  Napoleon declares himself Emperor

1812  Not a good year for Napoleon

1814  Napoleon abdicates and is sent to Elba

1815  Tries to seize power again, then comes Waterloo; exiled to St.Helena

1821  Napoleon dies in exile

According to Scott, Napoleon's Waterloo was his obsessive love for Josephine. And, no, "Waterloo" by ABBA was not on the soundtrack during that battle scene, but it played in my head.

* The Reign of Terror occurred after the Revolution during the government led by Robespierre. Besides nobles and clergy, any ordinary person considered suspicious was rounded up, imprisoned, possibly given a trial, often just executed.